For real, though - one thing I definitely don’t want at my funeral is a slow-moving parade of gloom interrupting the traffic patterns of the living. I feel like it makes the statement, “I need a long line of cars to crawl along the highway and block your exit (and it’s rude if you try to merge into the middle of it), so I’m going to make you late for work.“ Some of us are still alive, and need to actually use those roads for things. And don’t tell me that people need to know how to get to the cemetery, because we’ve figured out pretty well how to give directions from wedding ceremonies to the reception (and, I don’t know, every other time we need to get from point A to point B).