It is true, my phone sucks. But it works! And just cause I can’t browse some fancy “internet” or anything doesn’t mean that I’m missing out. My phone flips. It’s flipping sweet. How many of you smart-phone users can say that?
Granted, sometimes it decides to go into driving mode in my pocket and call random people. But still! It’s a good phone.
Calling people of its own accord? Sounds like your phone is the sentient one, Ted.
you could have a whole series on the singularity occurring, and ted ruins it by unplugging the internet.